"What did Booster Gold do in Millennium, mommy?"

[greenygal]

...or, when '80s crossovers attack. Completely random and pointless; mostly for my own amusement.



DIRK DAVIS: Hi. You know how I'm your agent and you trust me?

BOOSTER GOLD: Um, yeah...

DIRK DAVIS: Well, I've been secretly working for an evil alien robot cult the whole time I've known you. Not that there's ever been any evidence of that, since the writer just made it up. But it's true! Really! Alien robots!

BOOSTER GOLD: Uh-oh.

DIRK DAVIS: And I've stolen all your money.

BOOSTER GOLD: Uh-oh!

DIRK DAVIS: Join us and you can have it all back.

BOOSTER GOLD: …I hate days like this. Oh, hell, why not? I mean, maybe the evil alien robot folks are really good guys, who knows?

DIRK DAVIS: *emits maniacal cackle*

BOOSTER GOLD: *at press conference* The Manhunters are the best! The Justice League sucks!

JUSTICE LEAGUE: *glowers*

MANHUNTERS: We're off to kill your teammate Captain Atom now! If you should happen to be, you know, a double agent working with the rest of the heroes, you should probably try and stop us.

BOOSTER GOLD: *does nails*

CAPTAIN ATOM: *does not actually die*

BATMAN: Booster Gold is a traitor!

NICE GUY GARDNER: I bet he's really on our side.

BOOSTER GOLD: *beats up Batman and Guy Gardner*

NICE GUY GARDNER: He's just kidding. I think.

BATMAN: Grr....

BOOSTER GOLD: *beats up Manhunters* See, I was on your side all the time!

JUSTICE LEAGUE: We don't believe you.

BOOSTER GOLD: You don't?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: No. Now be good or Wonder Woman will hit you.

BOOSTER GOLD: Heck with this. I'm going to grab one of these special chosen people you guys are so fixated on and make off with her.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Hey! Come back here!

HARBINGER: Oh, by the way, J'onn--that Booster Gold guy? He's critical to the future of humanity, in some really vague way I can't describe.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: Really?

HARBINGER: Really.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: Oops. Maybe I won't mention that to him.

BOOSTER GOLD: Excuse me while I take off my costume in front of you, Xiang.

CHOSEN WOMAN: …no problem at all. So, Booster, what's your life like when you're not kidnapping people?

BOOSTER GOLD: I'm not having a good day. In fact, I'm not having a good year. My family's dead, I'm completely broke, I just blew up my own house, and the entire world hates me. My life sucks.

CHOSEN WOMAN: Oh, you don't mean that.

BOOSTER GOLD: I really, really do. In fact, I want to go home. Well, not really home 'cause they'll kill me, but in that general vicinity.

RIP HUNTER: Well, don't look at me. No time machines around here.

BOOSTER GOLD: Rats.

CHOSEN WOMAN: I can tell you are a true hero. Let me give you an inspiring speech about facing responsibilities.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Hi there!

BOOSTER GOLD: This day just gets better and better.

BLACK CANARY: We're not mad at you, dummy.

BOOSTER GOLD: Yeah, I can tell.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: We're not. We always accepted your explanation as to why you joined the Manhunters.

ME: Uh, no, you didn't.

STEVE ENGLEHART & DAN JURGENS: Look, you try coordinating a forty-five-part crossover and see how well you do.

BOOSTER GOLD: You all hate me!

MARTIAN MANHUNTER: No, we don't.

BOOSTER GOLD: Do too!

BLACK CANARY: Oh, shut up. Look, we're here to make up with you, Booster. Or else!

BLUE BEETLE: Yeah, quit whining. So what if you don't have any money? You can live at the JLI embassy! It'll be great!

ME: Just wait till it happens to you, Ted.

BOOSTER GOLD: Oh, all right. I guess that doesn't sound too bad. Especially since my title's just been cancelled and I'd be in limbo otherwise. Let me just tie up a few loose ends and I'm outta here…

And they all lived happily ever after. For a while.


Also, MILLENNIUM #5 really, really makes me wish I had a scanner. There's just no verbal way I can get across the effect of a page with an entire roomful of super-heroes yelling "Way to go, Batman!"...

Comments

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

LOL. Millenium is the CRACK.

And now I know it makes even *less* sense if you've read more of it than I have...

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

I really wouldn't bother, unless you're seriously into Nadia and Herupo attempting to explain their philosophy of the universe. There's just too many people here, and Englehart doesn't handle any of them well. (I don't mean he has them do horrible out-of-character things, just that the dialogue tends to be pretty clumsy.) And several of the Chosen punch my "c'mon, nobody really talks like that" button. I only bought the issues--and not even all of them--because I genuinely wanted to know how the Booster-as-traitor thing had played out. And now I've told you that, so you don't need to suffer as well. :)

On the other hand, the Millennium tie-ins I've read are generally of better-than-average quality for crossover issues, BOOSTER GOLD included. (Well, okay, if you can swallow the basically unworkable premise of the Manhunter's identity. But Booster is done really well.) It's just the mini-series itself that doesn't fly.

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

I wasn't really intending to, except for the fact that I've run into at least five different sets of Millenium tie-ins and keep hoping the plot will make more sense if I've read the mini and/or *other* tie-ins. But you've, as you said, you've saved me the trouble with Booster anyway.

Well, I'd also like to find out what happens to Tom as one of the Chosen, even though that all seems to have been forgotten about by Legacy...

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

The Guardians want to advance Earth's evolution. The Evil Alien Robot Cult want to stop them. All the superheroes are fighting the Evil Alien Robots, hindered by the fact that everyone in their personal lives is secretly a Manhunter. There, there's the plot. :)

Okay, it's possible that this summary misses out some minor details. However, buying MILLENNIUM doesn't help all that much, because so much of the plot takes place in the tie-ins--every issue closes with all the books you need to buy to find out what happens next. For example, if I hadn't read the BG issues, I would have absolutely no idea what had happened to the plot about Booster kidnapping Xiang. Which is pretty bad, since it's the climactic last page of #7. It's probably best to just work out what you can from the books you were going to read anyway.

Well, I'd also like to find out what happens to Tom as one of the Chosen, even though that all seems to have been forgotten about by Legacy...

In MILLENNIUM #8 he backs out at the very last minute, so he isn't fully transformed the way the rest of the Chosen are. (And that's another problem with this series--there's just too much of a superhero feel to the Chosen. It's hard to take them seriously as the next step in evolution when they're yelling out their codenames.) For his protection, the Guardians give him his latent "bring out the best in everybody" power.

Now, what happens to him in NEW GUARDIANS I don't know.

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

grins - nodsnods agress with pretty much everything you said!

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

Even the part where Booster does his nails? :)

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

yep
He was being a bit.... conceieted at that point

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Also, MILLENNIUM #5 really, really makes me wish I had a scanner. There's just no verbal way I can get across the effect of a page with an entire roomful of super-heroes yelling "Way to go, Batman!"...

Not the greatest of scans, but here you go. (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v119/caia_comica/Millennium05-05.jpg)

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

Wow! Thank you! And actually, that looks exactly like the picture in the comic. It's just that the paper quality isn't great to begin with.

...you know, looking at this page divorced from its context, I am suddenly pretty sure I know what scans_daily would make of it...

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

*g* Post it and see if you're right!