(no subject)

[greenygal]

To the author of the book I just finished:

You managed to write self-insertion mpreg. And get it published. By a real publisher. I am in awe. Shame there wasn't anything resembling a decent novel to put them in, of course.

I particularly liked the part where you want to have your character get rid of the guilt for the people she accidentally got killed, not that she has previously expressed this guilt at any point in the book, so you have one of their ghosts hand her a scroll saying she's pardoned. In large letters, apparently.

Also, there are probably some circumstances in which you can get away with introducing the bad guy as admitting herself to be "a world-class villain, and she liked herself this way." This book does not contain those circumstances. (Not to mention it's in direct contradiction of your point, several pages later, that she sees herself as acting on behalf of her god.) Villains who are Just Evil are generally a bad thing, and if you must have them it's really better not to call attention to it. 'Kay?

Thanks,
Carmen

Comments

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

grins--- Some authors do manage to slip one by the publishers and you can just imagine the head of publishing going ---"oops!"

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

This book badly, badly needed an editor. I'm not sure it would been readable, even so, given how many problems I had with it, but at the very least someone should have told the author, "No, cut all this stuff about the character coming to visit you. It's self-indulgent, it's dull, and it destroys the reader's suspension of disbelief. The fourth wall exists for a reason."

(An editor also might have helped with problems like making a plot point out of the need to conceal a certain piece of information from the authorities, when a) there's no realistic way this could have been done and b) the authorities had been shown to be well aware of it in the prequel novel.)

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

yup way lots of editing...

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Dare I ask which book?

[chiefseamonkey.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid to ask, but I'd really like to know which book.

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

See below. Make note of the warning. :)

[greenygal.livejournal.com]

Sure, but I won't be responsible for the consequences.

It's a fifteen-year-old fantasy novel called TRICKSTER'S TOUCH, by Zohra Greenhalgh. Should you ever run across it, I recommend not picking it up; it's not really even bad enough to be good. I got it because it's a sequel to her first novel, CONTRARYWISE, which is much better.